Chapter 6: Overcoming

truly, there is nothing to worry about

"So how are you, girl?" asked Kayla digging into her very berry strawberry ice-cream.

"Uhm, Kayla, you don't want to know," I replied licking my spoon from my hokey pokey ice-cream.

"Come on, you are a fighter Alice! I know it!" she said punching her fists into the air.

I reached into my grey blue striped sling bag and pulled out the beige card that I meant to give to Kevin. I put it on the table pushing to show Kayla.

"It's all gone Kayla, all gone,"

"No it's not! There is a reason why it happened. Every time you went through something, you overcame it right?"

I reached to the card with my hands in position to tear the card.

"But this is too much for me to handle, I can just tear this-"

"NO Alice," Kayla exclaimed as she grabbed the card away from me.

I can't help it. Tears started flowing. Anger turned into solemness. My emotions started breaking out.

"Alice, can you please do something for me?"

"Fine"

"Put your hand your heart"

I did it just to please Kayla.

"Now say, All things"

"All things"

"Work together"

"Work together"

"For good"

"For good"

"Feel better? You have to mean it-All things work together for good"

"All things work together for good." I repeated.

Honestly, I felt it was useless at first but really, I guess I have forgotten that- all things work together for good-no matter what.

"Where did you learn all this stuff?" I asked cheekily.

"Haha, from a bollywood movie, 3 idiots! I decided to change up the word but kept their concept. You see, the heart forgets all this things so keep reminding yourself and your heart because truly, there is nothing to worry about,"

"Oh my gosh! Thank you Kayla! Come on, you want to stop by my house?"

"No problem!"

As we both stepped out of the chairs, I gave Kayla the you-really-saved-my-life hug.

"Thank you, really." I said.

"Your welcome, it wasn't my idea anyway." she smiled.

"Hey, aren't you Alice Hope, Kevin's ex-girlfriend?" said a voice in a sarcastic tone.

I turned around and saw one of the jocks of our school, John, with the cheerleaders, Brenda and Macy.

"I indeed am." I replied Brenda.

Brenda had a slim figure which is what all cheerleaders need. She had two low ponytails tied us with white ribbons. Another typical blond.

"Isn't it unbelievable that she was Kevin's girlfriend?" Macy asked John.

John was the new jock of this school's term. He was a Eurasian. Tan skin, caramel eyes, brunette, toned body and what all jocks have-guns.

"Not bad," replied John as he stared at me with a smirk.

"Are you sure? What about Kayla?" insulted Macy as she and Brenda started fake coughing.

"You know what, we were just about to go, so we know who we are, we don't need your approval. Toodles!" interrupted Kayla as she pulled me out of the ice-cream shop.

"That was weird," I said to Kayla.

"Maybe John likes you?" she replied with a smirk.

"Kayla, he is a jock."

***

I love Tuesdays. You know why? I get to use my fingers and work on what I want to be in the future. I love getting into the moment. The moment where you let go of everything- yes, everything. But unfortunately, I have to stop.

I love my electric guitar lessons. But I have to stop because of my dad.

"Sorry, Mr B. I really can't because of my dad," I said to my awesome guitar teacher.

"Oh, come on! Our school won't be a school without you!" he replied.

I looked down and just thought that maybe not all things turn out good. But they are for a good cause just as Kayla said.

"We are all going to miss you, badly," said one of my partners, Emma.

"What about a part time job?" Mr B suggested.

"Oh yeah! I'll tell you when I quit alright?"

When I reached for the metal bar of the glass door, Matthew's hands was on the other side of the bar about to come in. I smiled. He had a frown and he just looked away. Unexpected.

He looked back at me giving me a small smile.

"Ooh, love is in the air!" said the counter guy, Michael.

"Fine," I said as I pushed the door open keeping my eyes on Michael proving I do not like him.

"Ouch!" exclaimed Matthew.

Oops. I forgot to look forward and hit Matthews forehead.

"Oh my gosh! Sorry Matthew!"

"It's fine, I have got to go. My father's dead."

Blood just drained from my head.

"D..ea..d?"

"Michael I need your help? Will you come over brother and give a hand?"

Just in a flash all of them just left. I was just standing outside the guitar shop which overlooked the neighbourhood's lake. It started pouring. Flashes of lightning started to appear followed with the noise of thunder.

I looked up to the sky. It's always there. Sometimes it's grey and pours, sometimes it's white and sometimes it's blue with barely any clouds. I guess my life is like that but I forget that everything will be alright and in fact is alright. It's just the conditions that either lead us to think we can't make it through or pull through it stronger.

I closed my eyes and I started adding a tune to the words,

All things work together for good

Like the skies above

It's just the conditions

But everything else is alright

It's just a testing

To bring yourself down or bring yourself higher

So don't let your heart forget

All things work together for good

***

I slipped quietly into the hall. Oh no, I need to sneeze. Oh my gosh, three, two, o..n..

Phew! I managed to close it with my thumb and index finger.

"ACHOOO!" I sneezed when I released my fingers.

Oh no.

All the people in the hall turned and glared at me.

"Sorry," I said softly.

I put my hand on my heart and reminded myself the six word phrase Kayla thought me. I quickly slipped into a chair at the back row.

The hall had beautiful soft light beige cream tiles and white walls.

"Let us begin then," said the pastor who conducted the service.

They started singing hymns. No guitar. No music. Just voices. It was so solemn. Most kept their heads down while others just stared at the paper the lyrics of the hymns were given.

After singing the few listed, we sat down. Nobody made any sound. It was so quiet. I guess my sneeze just now obstructed this. Is it who I think it is? I was scanning and observing the room and I thought I saw Kevin. Not again!

"Come, let us hear his family speak. Let's start off with his second son Matthew," the pastor said.

The audience started clapping quietly.

"Thank you all who are here to come commemorate my father's death with me. I'm his second son of the two he has. My father was a man of dignity and courage. He fought for our family hard. He tried over 30 jobs and finally got the one which led me to get an iPhone," he said cheekily.

"I never suspected his death. I guess this helps us realize how much of time we really need to use. My final words to him though, was all that I buried inside of me. Just to hear him say 'son, don't worry' just makes me feel blessed that I got this chance to speak and to say goodbye. My relatives, my friends, my family, let's realize how special one's life can be and not take it for granted,"

Matthew then wiped off a tear flowing down from his right eye. Just as he stepped of the stage, his eye caught mine and looked at me with a shocked look. He waved his hand and sat back.

Start realizing that all things work together for good.

Start making that choice to live to the fullest.

Start taking every opportunity.

Before it's too late.

Chapter 5: Moving on

But, what if he, what if he leaves me? I don't want to be hurt again.

"Why? Why must you hurt me so bad? Is it for the FUN of it?"

There I was in the midst of darkness. I felt like I was in a black hole being sucked in deeper and deeper. I was screaming to the light.

"HELP ME!"

I sat right up. It was a nightmare.

It has been two days since I haven't talked to Kevin. Every time I see him I feel like screaming at him. The worse part is that he doesn't notice how hurt I am. I see him always smiling with his arms around Macy and his friends giving him a thumbs up.

I turn to my left to look at my alarm clock. It's 7:50! Wait, I pressed the light button on my clock to have a better look in the dark, yes it's an analog clock. It's not digital with those bright red lights. Oh my gosh. It's 7:51! I lifted the blanket off of me and jumped out of bed. I rushed to the toilet and quickly brushed my teeth and washed my face.

Hold on a minute. Why isn't Amy waking up? I went to her room and opened the door to find out she was still sleeping!

"Wake up Amy! Wake up!" I said to Amy pushing her.

"Whhaa..t?" She said.

"It's 7:50! We have school!"

"Oh my goooosssh! Amy, it's Saturday! Get lost."

Oops.

"Sorry Amy!"

"Yeahh, just get lost," she said as she pulled her blanket over her head.

Well, I'm already ready and I can't go back to sleep again after that nightmare. I decided to go jogging. I changed into my my sports attire and slipped into my trainers.

Today's misty because of the heavy rain the night before. Hopefully I won't meet Kevin again. I started jogging around my neighbourhood. Blocks after blocks, streets after street. I suddenly saw a guy jogging with his earphones jogging towards me. He looked familiar.

The guy looked up and his eyes brightened and waved at me. I still did not know who he was so I just waved and smiled. He then ran to me. When he was closing in, he kept his earphones in his pocket and walked to me.

"Hey!" He smiled and said with enthusiasm.

"Oh! Hey Matthew!" I said when I realised who he was.

"Jogging?"

"I thought there was school today so I woke up early and it turns out to be Saturday"

"Sleep back again?" He chuckled.

"When I have bad dreams, I cannot sleep back again"

"I see, what was the nightmare about?"

"Uhh, you don't want to know"

"Come on Alice! You are so secretive. I won't exploit your secrets. You won't even tell me what happened to you last two days ago." he raised his voice.

I kept silent and looked down.

I guess I haven't told anybody. I don't want people to know and think I have issues. I don't want people to judge me. I don't want to get people's harsh opinions. I guess I don't trust people.

I felt a sudden hand on my shoulder. I chose not to respond to it.

He then lifted my chin up with his other hand to meet his eyes. His pupils dilated into mine. I could see it as the sun was already rising which shined on his eyes. I gulped.

"Sorry. I just have not learn to trust people yet." I said.

He let go of my chin and lifted his hand of my shoulder and stuffed his hands in his pocket.He looked down and said, "I'm sorry for raising my voice. I should not have forced you to tell me something. Too many secrets have been kept from me and I feel powerless. More like anoutcast."

I took his hand and sandwiched it between my hand and said, "I do too. I understand."

He scratched his neck with his other arm.

"This is a little awkward. I'm sorry," He smiled.

"It's okay, it just shows that both of us are having problems." I let go of his hand.

He pulled out his iPhone and unplugged his earphone cables and stuff them back into his pocket.

"It's 8:45, I have to go now."

"Me too, so I will see you soon?"

"Sure, bye!" He looked at me with a smile and waved.

"Bye!" I turned around to head back home.

"Wait Alice!"

"Yes?"

"I guess I have a lot of hardships that I want to let go of and I believe you need too so do you want to meet up sometime?"

Oh my gosh. He asked me out.

"Sure, when are you free?"

"How about dinner? My treat."

"Ohh, wow, dinner's great."

"So, can I get your number? I'll call you when I have arranged everything."

He passed me his iPhone. I typed the numbers while trying to contain my emotions. I passed him back his phone when I was done.

"Thanks, I will see soon!"

"Bye!"

***

Oh my gosh. He asked me out. Oh my gosh. But, what if he, what if he leaves me? I don't want to be hurt again. I will just trust him just this while as a friend. I hope.

My phone rang, it is an unknown number, must be Matthew.

"Hey Matthew!"

"How did you know it was me?"

"I did not know your number that's why."

"Aww man, I wanted to prank call you."

"Haha, so plans for tonight?"

"Oh yeah! 7:30 fine with you?"

"Sure, where?"

"I'll pick you up. It's a surprise."

"ALICE!" My sister screamed from the living hall.

"Okay, I have to go now, my sister's calling me."

"WHAT?" I screamed back at my sister.

"Get ready, mum and dad are coming back before dinner."

Oh no.

"ALICE?!"

"Yes, yes! Thank you!"

I quickly called Matthew back. Hopefully he'll understand.

"Matthew?"

"So can you make it?"

"Uhh, I'm so sorry Matthew but I can't make it as my parents are coming back from their anniversary in Grand Canyon. I have to have my dinner with them. Sorry Matthew. I really want to go out"

"Alice"

"Yes?"

"Chill"

"Okay, thank you"

"It's fine, can I shift the booking to tomorrow then?"

"Parents won't allow on Sunday dinners"

"Sunday lunch?"

"You don't seem to give up do you?"

"Please?"

"I need to ask my parents. I will call you if I can okay?"

"Okay, thanks Alice"

"Thank you too."

Phew, does he really like me? I smiled as I viewed his name in my phone number.

***

"How are my two girls?" my mom asked as she hugged Amy and me.

"Terrible," Amy replied.

"Fine," I said.

"Have you been studying?" my dad asked Amy, who has just started her foundation, and me.

"Dad, can you understand I don't want to take over your business."

"Why not? Is it about you wanting to become a guitarist again?"

"Dad! Why don't you just let me be who I want to be?"

"Look at Amy, she is now studying psychology."

My parents put their priority as education. Why can't I have that freedom of being who I want to be? I just kept quite as I don't want to spoil the occasion. Amy's always the 'best', 'prettiest' and 'first'. Period. When they tell people about how are we they will say Amy has started her uni with a scholarship given to only a few people in the country and is going to head to Yale university soon after she has completed her foundation. Yes, they don't tell anything about me. Even if they did, it is just a 7 word phrase- Alice is planning to be a guitarist.

"Alice, you have got to choose something good for your future. Guitarists don't get high pay,"

"They do dad. Please, don't interfere with who I want to be, I will get a part time job and I will pay for my guitar lessons if it is so burdensome for you to pay for my guitar lessons," I said ending our conversation. I don't want the whole airport to look at us arguing.

***

"ALICE!" My sister called.

"What?"

"Someone's at the door for you!"

"Be right there!"

Wonder who would it be on a Sunday afternoon where everybody is busy catching up with their friends. I jumped down the stairs and recognized the person immediately. It was Matt.

"Hey, Alice!" He said with a smile.

"Hi Matt, what are you doing here?"

"What happened to Kevin, Alice?" Amy suddenly interrupted our conversation.

"Tell you about it later Amy,"

"Who's Kevin?"

"Oh, it was her first one and only boyfriend who dumped her and she still can't get over him." Amy explained. Oh no.

"Amy!"

"What? Alice. He's your new boyfriend right?"

"Amy, I'll talk to you later. Let's go Matthew," I said as I walked out of the house.

Why must Amy be so..so.. mean? She knows that I still have feelings for Kevin. She knows I am trying to get over him. Why must she go around telling people that? I don't even call her my sister. I call her Amy. It's so hard to be around her. I wish she would understand my feelings and realize that I have feelings too.

"What was that about?" Matthew suddenly asked. I guess I was in my dream world too long.

"Oh, well, it's nothing"

Matthew gave me that I-know-its-something look

"Fine!"

"No, I mean what was that about me as your boyfriend?"

"Oh,"

"Don't tell me it's nothing,"

I suddenly heard laughs and a boy with a girl chuckling together. It sounds familiar. Too familiar. The couple turned from a corner and walked to our street. The boy had his arms around the girl and they were both full of smiles and laughter. They walked closer and closer to us but did not realize it as they were so into each other.

"What about them?" Matthew broke the silence as he notices I was looking at them.

"They just look very, very familiar," I said softly.

I noticed the boy had green eyes. Those precious green eyes. When the boy smiled, it revealed his dimple on his left cheek which has a mole on it. He was a blonde. I suddenly realized it was Kevin. The girl he has his arms around is Macy.

They both finally stopped laughing and walking. They stopped in the middle of the road. Kevin reached his hand over her face and pulled it to touch his lips. Oh my gosh. They kissed in front of me.

A car suddenly arrives in front of them and honks them. They both laugh and move to the side while Kevin lifted his arm to say sorry to the driver. As he turned to face Macy, he finally stops and notices me. He smiles his friendly smile which then turned into a cunning smile and heads over to Macy. He says something to Macy still keeping that cunning smile and she turns and faces me.

They both came closer to Matthew and I.

"Who is he?" Macy asked with a smile.

"My friend,"

"So, you finally moved on?"

"Nahh, she hasn't, watch." Kevin says as he pulls me with his arms and kisses me.

Oh no. I kept my lips tight making sure I did not kiss back. I finally managed to push Kevin away and he let go of me.

"Not bad, but just a teeny weeny bit of you gave in and I know you want to." He said sheepishly.

"Stop it Kevin. Since when did you turn from my friend to an enemy?"

"You mean your boyfriend?" He said with a smile.

"Can you please explain to me what's going on, Alice with you and this Kevin guy?" Matthew demanded. His eyes showed he had enough.

I had enough too. It's time to move on, seriously.

Chapter 4: Hello

I forced a smile at him and he smiled back.

I woke up and fluttered my eyes. I sat right up, stretched my arms and yawned. I realised I fell asleep in front of the television. Must be the lack of Argentina matches.

I looked to my right and saw my sister, Amy, on the couch."It's 6, go have your dinner. It's on the dining table," Amy said without looking at me but instead focusing her eyes on the television broadcasting Desperate Housewives. Yes, she does not like football.

I went to the dining table and lifted the food cover. Amy ordered pizza, again. My parents went for a 5 day trip to Arizona to see the Grand Canyon. It is their anniversary. It's the 3rd day, and Amy and I have been having pizza for dinner ever since. Very unhealthy. I sighed and took the pizza box along with me up the stairs and to my room.

I closed the door. I jumped onto my bed and opened up the pizza box and starting munching on the famous chicken, pineapple, tomato sauce and cheese- Aloha chicken. When I finished, I went to my book cupboard to find my reference books.

Suddenly a bright orange book caught my eye. I took it out and gazed at the turquoise and green spirals on the bright orange book. I opened it and saw some wording at the side,

To our wonderful daughter Amy,
We might not be here to listen to your problems, but this journal will help you.
Love,Daddy and Mummy 2009

I smiled and decided to start since I haven't used this book for a year. I took my favourite blue pen and began writing on the orange lines.

Dear journal,
Well, I guess I have to start by talking about myself right? So here I go:

Name: Alice Hope

Age: 16

Birthday: 5th August

Eyes: Caramel brown

Hair: Light brown

Current city: Fort Smith, Arkansas

Family members: Dad- Edwin Hope, Mom- Brenda Hope, Big sister- Amy Hope.

Ambition: Musician- electric guitarist

Current crush: Kevin Wayne

I stared at his name. When will I ever get over him? He is just so, I have to admit, ridiculously hot. I looked at my phone and decided to call Kevin. I wanted to settle everything once and for all. I pressed the number one on my phone and it dialed Kevin's number. Yes, I have him on speed dail.

I heard his 'Lucky to be in love with my best friend' by Cobbie Calliat and Jason Mraz. He still hasn't changed it since we were together.
"Hello? Uhm Alice?" He gulped.
"Hey, can you meet me at the Fier park at 7:30? We really need to talk."
"Sure, I won't be late. I will go now."
"Okay, I'm going now too. Thanks, see you."

I quickly changed out of the clothes I wore for school into a beige three quater pants and slipped into a lilac T-shirt.
"Hey sis, I'm going to the park alright?" I informed my sister.
"Sure, just be back early!"
"Bye!"
I locked the door, slipped the keys and my phone into my pocket and off I went.

But, will it solve anything? Or will I be left even more heartbroken then before? I miss Kevin so much. I just need to at least end it in a good way and not regret anything.

I was at the park and looked around. Kevin's not here yet. I looked around and saw three little children playing the skipping rope. I saw smiles on their faces, except one. She was holding the rope and had a frown. I guess she's jealous. I can see her glare at the other two children-one girl and one boy. Now I understand.

I understand little girl, I understand.

I went to the railings of the park which separates the park and the housing estates from a lake. I leaned my body onto the railing and closed my eyes. Why must we be heartbroken? Why can't we live in a world full of love and no such thing as hate?

I felt something beside me. It feels warm. The thing then leans on the railings beside me.
"Hello." the person whispers into my ear. I knew it was Kevin. I flung opened my eyes keeping my gaze to the lake.
"You came."
"Sure I did, we are still friends right? If you still consider me your friend."
I maintained my silence.
"You know I never want to hurt you. I would not have a smile on my face during the summer. It's just that, It's just that, I.."
"You love Macy more than me?" I interrupted.
He stares at me in disbelief. I gazed into his deep green eyes. I waited for his answer.

He gulped and said, "I'm sorry. I just love you as a friend."
I forced a smile at him and he smiled back. He leaned in and touched his lips on my cheek. He then whispered in my ear, "Thanks for understanding." He wrapped his arms around me.

Come on Alice, stand up for yourself. Don't let him manipulate you anymore.
"Kevin." I whispered in his ear as his head was on my shoulder.
"Uh-huh?"
"I just want to be clear, when we met before the summer, did you love me?"
He unwrapped his arms me and pulled back.
"I did. I really did."
"So, what happened?"
"You know I want to install my reputation back and the only way is through Macy. Please understand Alice."
"So, popularity is more important?"
"Well, popularity equals more friends so yes."
"I'm I'm sorry, I thank you for the wonderful times we had, but, I don't want someone who cares about me over popularity."

I stepped back but still locking my eyes on him before I turned around and ran. I ran as fast as my legs could carry me. The railings and the lake flashed past me as tears began to flow from my eyes.

I turned to the next corner. I stopped as I did not hear his footsteps. I sat down and buried my head into my hands which rested on my knees. I cried. I cried as it something hurt me real bad that I could not take it.

Is popularity what you want? Is that the reason you have friends or more importantly-a girlfriend? Why did I let him fool me? Why must he tear my heart? Must he tell me that he loves Macy more than me?

I screamed.

My emotions just poured out in that scream. I want it to come out even more. I banged my clenched fist on the floor and screamed all the more. I don't care if I am going to go through my depression phase again. I want Kevin to know what he has done to me. How he broke my heart.

I lied down there. I know Kevin doesn't care. I know Macy would love it. I know my sister would not care.

"Are you okay?" an unknown voice said. I could not see who it was as my hair covered my face. It sounded soft, waiting to comfort me and like a teenager.

The stranger then pushed my hair back and lifted me up to sit on the ground instead of lying there. The stranger stroked my hair and neatened it up.

"Are you okay? I want to help," the stranger repeats.

I wiped of the tears of my eyes and opened them. I saw a teenager. I examined his features- hazel piercing eyes, brunette and a little spiked up hair into a mo-hawk. He was wearing a sleeveless white shirt which showed of his guns.

"I, I just need my depression pills," I said as I hid my face into my arms again.

Go away, I don't want to be hurt again.

"Well, if that's the case, I can at least walk you home right? I have a mother with depression, I understand." He explained.

I lifted my buried face to him and smiled. He gave me a warm smile which made me feel guilty for judging him for what Kevin did. He stood up and reached out his hand to me- just like Kevin did last time. I smiled and stood up on my own.

"Thank you for your help," I thanked.
"My pleasure, where is your house then?" He said with a warm smile.
"It's in the next two streets from here,"
"I see, what is your name then?"
"Alice, Alice Hope,"
"Wow, that's such a powerful yet sweet name!"
"Thanks. What about yours?"
"I'm Matthew, Matthew Jones."

He smiled and reached out his hand to me for my to shake. I reached it out to his and said, "Hello, nice to meet you."

Chapter 3: I'm not that fine myself too

"I know you are hurt but she just makes me so happy.I wish I could be around her every minute of my life."

I waited outside the school compound for Kevin to come around and like before the summer break-we walked home together. Without fail, I always waited at our school sign which says 'Valley High School' for Kevin every weekday after school. Well, now he usually walks out of school with the jocks and cheerleaders and his arms around Macy.

I raised my arm to look at my watch- it's 3:40. Kevin is 10 minutes late. Alice, stop worrying, he will come out if he said he will. Suddenly a light bulb popped from my head and lit up. I sat down on the grass, leaning on my school sign, I pulled out my file from my bag. I took out the card that I made for Kevin which I did not manage to give him. As on that day I was about to give it to him, he was with Macy.

I looked at the card that I made. It was all our photos in front card with him and I in every photo. My favourite has and always will be the middle picture which I framed with corrugated card and tracing paper. It was a photo of us jumping under the sunlight.

I opened the inside of the peach coloured card and read what I have written,

Dear Kevin,

Thank you for being an AWESOME friend towards me. I wrote this letter to tell you that no matter what happens, I will be by your side. Even when you just lost everybody, I am here for you.

Don't worry Kevin! You have the power to choose to stay strong or to give it all up. And I am here to help you with that.

With love,

Alice xx

A tear dripped onto the card where the word power was. I rubbed off the tear from my eyes and read the sentence again 'You have the power to choose to stay strong or to give it all up'.

I smiled as I read that sentence. Even as hard as it is to get over Kevin, I have the power to stay strong or give it all up. I looked at my watch at it showed 3:47. I knew Kevin would have forgotten because he would always come at 3:35. Sharp.

I slipped the card back into the file and the file into my bag. I jumped up and started my journey home. Yes, I walk to and from school. Besides, I don't want to miss the Argentina and Germany game repeat at 4! I want to see Lionel Messi score his first goal at the Fifa World cup!

I have to admit that I want someone out there to love me for who I am, whether it is Lionel Messi, Thomas Muller or Kevin, I just want someone who will be there for me.

As I walked pass the Fier park, memories flashed through my mind about that kiss again. The reason- there was a couple on the lawn kissing. It's my sister and her boyfriend. She gets all the guys. This is like her 1000th kiss and my kiss with Kevin is the one and only one I had.

Suddenly, her boyfriend opened his eyes and stared at me. My sister, Amy, then pulled herself back from her boyfriend, turned around and looked at me.

"Excuse me," she said with that scarcastic tone of hers when she realised I was watching her.

"Sorry sis, I had memories flashing in my head when I saw you making out with your boyfriend."

Amy lifted one of her eyebrows and flashed me that please-go-away look. I nodded and left.

I threw myself on the couch and switched on the television. Just then it was the goal that Argentina scored which was offside. Don't you feel the same way too? When you worked so hard through the defenders, dribbling, tackling and striking and in the end-nothing.

My eyes widened as I watched Gonzalo Hugain shouting in anger and throwing the ball unto the ground. Wow. I feel the exact same way. I feel like screaming at my sister which shows no sympathy for what I am going through and Kevin for breaking my heart real bad.

After all that dribbling and tackling-all the tough times we went through. After striking the goal-striking the kiss. Thinking that we are assured of scoring a success in our lives, it's offside. It was not a real success-it was not a real kiss.

I changed the channel to the highlights of the Fifa World Cup 2010 match. I watched and watched as I saw matches from Spain with Paraguay, USA with Ghana and and Argentina match with Mexico. My eyes were glued onto the television.

A goal for Argentina against Mexico! It's nice to see something achieved right? But it will-most of the time-let us down. I have to move pass Kevin whether I like it or not. He is just like that offside goal. Now, I have to work on an onside goal.

Suddenly the snapping of fingers sounded from Michael Jackson's Man in the Mirror on my phone. I picked it up. It was a call from Kevin.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Hey Alice! Where are you now? I have been waiting for you at the school sign since 3:50. Are you coming?"

Wow. 3:50. 20 minutes late.

"Alice?" he asked again.

"Sorry, I left at 3:47. You usually come at 3:35. Sharp."

"I know Alice, you know. I was caught up with Macy. Please understand Alice."

I kept quiet.

"Alice. I know you are hurt but she just makes me so happy. I wish I could be around her every minute of my life. You want me to be happy right?"

We were silent.

"Kevin"

"Alice?"

"I.. ju..st. I just want.."

"Yes?"

"I just want to let you know that you don't have to hurt others to be happy."

I hung up the phone.

Moral of today: Don't let offside goals fool you. Even if they do, try again to score and onside goal.